The Mirror Me

Today I did a self evaluation about my actions as of late. The results were disheartening. I’ve been lying more, haven’t been doing my homework, making more and more excuses, and just generally letting myself down. Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what my family or my friends think about me. It comes down to what I think of myself. Do I look in the mirror and see someone to be proud of? Or someone who hasn’t risen to her potential?

Today, I was the latter. Every night I promise to be better, to make a change, to stop procrastinating and get my act together. But every morning my body refuses to rise, to begin to start fresh. And every morning, I fail to reform myself. Instead, choosing to live my life as I had the past day.

That needs to stop. I’m sick of being the one that people can’t count on to have the work done. I want to go back to being the one that everyone came to asking about homework. Now, I’m just as confused as the rest of them. I blend in. But valedictorians don’t blend in. They don’t fail tests or have missing assignments. My goal, since I can remember, was to be like my siblings and be valedictorian of my class. Now, four months from the finish line, I’m stumbling and getting turned around.

Yes, being #1 isn’t life or death. But it’s important to me. I value my brain and want to see myself do incredible things. But I can’t do that from my couch while watching ABC Family. And I can’t just say that I’m going to change overnight. I have to take baby steps toward a bigger goal.

Tomorrow is a new day. It’s a fresh slate and I will make the most of it. It’s important that I remember that any step is progress, even if it’s not as big as I want. I can do this. There’s no doubt about it. The question is, “Will I?” And I will forever shout “YES!” until no other word remains.

Live to Inspire

Today, on my Facebook feed, I found a video about a boy with cancer. My interest was piqued and I clicked on it. The video was about a 17 year old who had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and how he was choosing to spending his last days.

He wasn’t wallowing in self-pity or depression. He lived his life with a huge grin on his face. That’s not to say that he didn’t have bad days. He did. It’s just, that when an opportunity presented itself to spread joy, he took it. His legacy isn’t anything to do with how he died but how he lived. In facing imminent death, he didn’t cower. He took it in stride and made the most of his life.

He turned to music. The YouTube video that he posted with his song, Clouds, quickly received over a million views. As of today, nine months after Zach’s death, it has over 9 million views. I recommend that you view them. I’ve posted the links below. Though, fair warning, you may need a box of tissues for the Last Days video. I sure did.

The most important thing that I pulled from Zach’s story was that you don’t have to do something incredible like save all the children in Africa or star in a movie to change the world. You can change your world and everyone in it. Zach did it by being happy in one of the most unhappy situations. Every life that he touched, he changed forever.

If you want a goal, here you go, be happy. Make your happiness contagious and never stop spreading it. It’s amazing how far happiness can take you in life.

 

YouTube Video Links

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDC97j6lfyc   (“Clouds”)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NjKgV65fpo   (Last Days Documentary)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zxXAtmmLLc   (“Clouds” Celebrity Music Video)

Back to Earth

I know. I know. I said that I was back but then I disappeared again. I’ll admit, I went through a blog slump. I couldn’t really muster the emotion that I needed to write. But today I have something good to tell you. First, a recap of my life lately.

I am writing this post from my new (to me) iPad that my dad promised me for the Christmas of 2012. And I love it, except the whole finger typing part. My fingers are cramping up. So if you see typos or missing words, I’m blaming it on the iPad.

A girl named Nayla came to stay with my family. She’s a foreign exchange student from Bahrain. I’m sure you will hear more about her later on. She’s attending my school for the rest of the year. Speaking of school, we have had 11 snow days since Christmas break and it is unlikely that there will be school for the rest of the week. Hence why I have the time to write this. And now, to my news.

This is for everyone who remembers Dave. I talked about him in my last post. I said that I was finally going to do something about my feelings. And, of course, I ended up doing nothing about it and now I probably never will.

Today during school, I was talking to a friend of mine who had set out to gather some information about Dave for me. Well, she spoke to him and it went a little like this…

My friend: “So Dave, do you like anyone?”
Dave: “Nah, not really.”
Friend: “Oh, well, do you think anyone likes you?”
Dave: “I’m not really sure but I think Cassie has a crush on me…”

*cue the end of my romantic dreams*

And that was basically it. As far as I was concerned. I’m sure there was more to the conversation but I kinda tuned out after that. Some things fell into place though. If he thought I was some sort of creepy stalker than it would make sense that he didn’t follow me back on a Twitter or Instagram. I didn’t find it creepy at the time but the same motions take on different meanings in varying light. I figured that he was a classmate and it wouldn’t be weird. But maybe to him it was. Oh well, somethings were never meant to be and this was apparently one of them.

I’m going to go nurse my shattered hopes with pizza and ice cream. If you’re in Indiana (or any of the states in this storm), stay warm! If you’re anywhere else, please come get me!!

Until next time, (Hopefully not to long from now!) as John Green says, Don’t Forget to be Awesome (DFTBA)!