Taking the Reins

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about relationships. My brother just recently got engaged and I bought my bridesmaid dress yesterday. I love his fiancĂ© and am super happy for them. But it got me thinking… What am I going to do about my love life or lack there of? I’ve always taken the idea of sitting back and waiting for the relationship to come to you. Consequently, I’ve had some bad experiences. My elementary school years were filling with poorly chosen crushes. Middle school wasn’t much better. I dated one boy (twice) and had more crushes than I care to admit. Things didn’t really turn around for me in high school. My only boyfriend cheated on me and my prom date last year, dropped me faster than a hot potato.

I want this year to be different. I want a guy that I like, mind, body, and all. But the selection at my high school is limited. Most decent guys are taken and the others don’t meet my standards. Dave is really the only guy I could see myself with but the thing is, I find it harder and harder to picture us together. I’m a nerd. He’s a jock. My definition of a good night is a good book. His is a good game.

I think as I get older, I realize how unlikely the pair up is. My friends try to claim that he and I would look cute together. But we are both so shy and awkward that nothing is ever going to happen, even if he liked me.

Somedays, I can fool myself into thinking that he thinks of me as more than a classmate. I mean, why else wouldn’t he follow me back on Twitter? (or maybe he thinks I’m creepy…) But when he does talk to me, I play it super cool, protecting my heart and sanity. And in the process, hurting myself even more.

For once, I need to take a gamble on more than my homework. I need to put myself out there. If things don’t work out, then I know it will be because of a lack of connection, not because I didn’t give it a shot. This year could be my year if I just try. Besides, what’s a couple months of awkward class periods if I fail?

Worst Blogger Ever

Okay, so it’s official. I’m the worst blogger ever! I’ve started at least five posts, three book reviews and a Disney Dork Report but never finished any of them. I’m scared and out of practice. For a while, I got used to putting my feelings out into the internet. But then I got caught up with trying to get more views and lost sight of why I blog. I do this for me and only me. The moment I start to blog for someone else is the moment that I quit. This only works if I am willing to put my thoughts out to the public, to stop whatever I’m doing and write. It’s time that I start to put my thoughts first again. So many ideas have stewed inside of me for too long. It’s time for me to express everything that I’ve held in. Get ready blog world, I’m officially back!

Welcome to 2014!

I’m finally back!

As much as I missed blogging this past week, I needed the break and enjoyed the time with my family. But now it’s time to get down to business.

I have much planned for 2014. I hope to really delve into the world of blogging. Lately I feel that I have just been testing the waters and flailing my arms around but now I am determined to discover the beauties that lie in blogging more than my petty high school problems to my small rural community.

My goal is to read and write a review for over 100 books. I also hope to write reviews of Disney movies and detail upcoming Disney events.

I have done away with the Internet Bites and have replaced them with Simple Thoughts. These will be less structured and hopefully easier for me to keep up with throughout my busy year. Things may get a little crazy at times and I apologize in advance for all the screw-ups and mistakes I am sure I’ll make during this experience. But, that’s what life is all about, isn’t it?

It is my deepest wish that you will accompany me on this journey as I graduate high school, start college, turn nineteen, leave home, and so much more.

May 2014 be your best year yet!

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