I’m Back!

I’ve seen the error in my ways and hope you guys forgive me! I needed to iron out a few things but now that I have I can post everything on Twitter or Facebook. Enjoy!

Advertisements

Coming Clean

Sooo… I know that I said that I would be posting a book review sometime in the near future but I’m having trouble getting started. I know that I’m overthinking it but I want my first post to be good so I keep putting it off. I will post a book review someday, though it probably won’t be in the A-Z category… At least if I do write a book review, I will have an excuse to read more. So fingers crossed that I am actually able to put my nose to the grindstone and finish a review.

“Where I Come From” Poem

This started off as a homework assignment and blossomed into a part of my essay supplement for the University of Notre Dame. I hope you like it. Feel free to leave comments.

 

“Where I Come From”

by Cassie Gaff

People come from places

but not me.

My home is a moving idea.

People are what make a home,

not wood, stone, or hearth.

I come from a loving family,

that encourages me,

that nurtures me,

that cares when I fall,

that cheers when I rise again.

The ones that will always be there,

the few that will never leave.

Soon I will leave,

begin an adventure all my own.

I will live somewhere new,

with new people,

new situations, and

new lessons.

But no matter where I go,

whether far or near,

their love travels with me.

A warm blanket on a cool evening,

encouraging words on a tough day,

kind gestures that can heal any wound.

Time and distance

create no boundaries.

Nothing can separate me

from those I love and

those who love me.

They are my home and

they are where I come from.

A Nutshell

Today’s been a rough day. I had ACTs this morning and I’m trying to be productive so I can rationalize spending my evening vegging out on pizza and Vampire Diaries. But every time I try and start something I get so overwhelmed that I can’t even function. I’m trying to finish up my essay for Butler University so I can send it in, BEFORE the deadline and I’m finding it impossible. How can I sit here and write something for you guys and not even thing. Sometimes I don’t even start out with a plan when I start writing, I just write. Now, I can’t force it but when I’m stuck or emotionly blocked, writing to an invisible audience helps. Then how can this stupid college essay be so hard? I guess its because I’m trying to get someone who has never met me an idea of what I’m like. Some of my classmates, whom I’ve known for years, don’t know some of this stuff I’m trying to write about. My sister, bless her heart, wants me to write about what makes me unique. I don’t know! Everything I write sounds trite and overdone. I wish I could post one of these for an essay but I know it’s not polished and just plain messy. To be honest, I’m impressed people even read this. Right now, it feels like I’m just rambling which I’m sure I am. And I will probably delete this when I come to the end but I just need to get it out. This is my forum for whatever I’m thinking and if people don’t like reading it then, that’s their choice and I can’t blame them. In fact, I’m gonna post a little blurb from something I’ve been working on since you guys are actually reading my blog and I appreciate that. I promise that it’s a little bit more organized than this mess, at least I hope so! Well thanks for listening. Stay tuned for my writing. I think it may be a part of one of my essay supplements. Anyways, talk to you again soon. That I can promise.

 

“Don’t try too hard to be something you’re not.” -Daniel Radcliffe

Choices, Choices, Choices

It’s Fall Break for my high school. And I’m spending it in Boston, looking at colleges with one of my best friends. We’re having a blast, as soon as our college visits are done.

Yesterday we went to three colleges, back to back to back. It was insane. We went from college to college. Breaking down what we liked and what we didn’t. At the beginning of yesterday I was 80% sure about what I wanted in a college. Now, after being on five different campuses, I am 0% about what I want.

As my dad always reminds me, I will survive any where I decided to go. I am sure that I could but I wanna go somewhere that I’m happy. It’s hard for me to just let go of control with something as big as my future. My sister always talks about how important your college is when applying for graduate school and jobs later in life. I’m just scared that I will make the wrong decision and fail in life. And as stupid and illogical as it sounds, it’s a common fear. People put so much pressure on high school seniors to apply to the right schools, to get in, and to get fantastic grades. I just wish that my social conditioning hadn’t put so much weight on my shoulders when it comes to this. I just wanna be happy. That’s all I ask. To be happy.

Hopefully, some day I will be. Right now, I just have to try and make the best decisions possible. If I am sure about my choices, happiness should follow, right?

 

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” -Albert Einstein

The Brillance of the Young

Today, my mom left an article at my desk for me to read. Normally I just push them to the side and blow it off until I’m bored but today I didn’t. A passage from the article really resounded with me and I wanna share it with you.

It is a Chicken Soup for the Soul piece from my local newspaper. This article is by Olivia Mitchell. The author is ten years older than her little brother, Sammy, who was diagnosed with autism at the age of three. Right before this passage, Sammy requested that his grandfather take his new toy apart. He watched has his grandfather started to dissemble the toy truck.

“When he got to the parts with wheels and gears, Sammy’s eyes lit up with wonder. His gaze was focused on the pieces coming off the truck one by one. He took each piece in his hands as it came off and examined it throughly. It was clear to me now that my brother saw things so differently than I did. He knew that the pieces worked together harmoniously, but also that each part was unique. He saw that each part had its own special purpose. It occurred to me that just like the truck, all of the “pieces” that fit together to make Sammy were pieces placed together perfectly for him. Each piece together created my brother, who sees the world in a different light from anyone I have ever known. His actions at 4 years old helped me to understand that we are all fit together in a different way for our own specific purpose. I now see the beauty in these differences.”

I love the line, “He knew that the pieces worked together harmoniously, but also that each part was unique. He saw that each part had its own special purpose.” How profound is that? Although I logically know it constantly, to see it put like that, makes me rethink how I think about people. I go back through every nasty thing I thought about someone without really knowing them or even about my friends. I think, These people are what make me, me. The world wouldn’t be the same without every single person. It’s difficult to remember that though. But every single action of every single person creates a ripple effect, whether good or bad. I picture it sorta like a lake or any body of water. If you put your finger in, you create a small ripple. If you stick your head in, the ripple gets bigger. The rings aren’t the same size or always the same shape, nor do they stay as long. Some times I see the ripple cause the water to change colors, to go from clear to murky or black. Our actions are exactly like that. Every action reaches a different amount of people, different kinds of people, and creates a different atmosphere. Without knowing it, you could be in the ripple area of someone you don’t even know. It’s important to try and keep that in mind.

“If you’re lucky enough to be different, don’t ever change.” -Unknown

End of a Chapter

(Written Thursday night)

 

Yesterday was my last soccer practice. Tonight was my last game. And with that, the high school soccer chapter of my life has come to a close.

It’s time to turn the page and go on to new things, like indoor soccer, tennis and college. But I’m not quite ready to move on. There are some things I need to say first.

To the seniors:

We made it. We survived four years of two-a-days. We limped through practice after practice. And we were some pretty amazing seniors. There are some that started this journey with us that are no longer with us but that just makes the rest of us stronger. We have formed a bond that can only be described as FAMILY. Now, we go our separate ways. But don’t let us forget the road that we all took together as we finish our senior years. So next time you see a fellow teammate in the hallway, smile and nod. Because once teammates, always teammates.

To the underclassmen:

I’m gonna miss you guys but you all be just fine next year with the seniors. In fact, by the middle of next season, you will totally forget how it was to play with us. Just don’t forget us completely. Take what you think we did well and what you think we stunk at, and apply that to yourself when you become a senior. I have faith in you guys that you can pick up the pieces and be an incredible team next year. Try and keep in touch with the seniors that you bonded with (*cough* *cough* ME!). I wish you all the best.

I think Audrey said it best when she said, “I love each and everyone of you.”

I missed coach’s speech to the seniors due to helping gimpy Jocelyn get to the trainer’s room but I’m sure he said a lot of what I have been thinking the past year. We have an incredible team and an amazing group of seniors that have rose to the occasion. I remember every year we would look at the seniors and say, When we are seniors, we will do this or we can’t do that. Now I can’t even remember what it was but I feel that we were a good example for the team. Perfect? God, no! But we were nice, understanding, and didn’t act as though we were superior in every way.

I don’t think it’s hit me that soccer season is over, that I won’t be seeing some of those girls except fleetingly in the hallway. My high school experience would have been completely different without soccer and I wouldn’t have had it any way. Life gifted me the opportunity to get to know thirty great girls and I could never have passed that up. I’m glad I didn’t. And I’m glad the other nine girls stuck it out with me.

We still have awards night when we will stand on the stage and receive a plaque for the four years of soccer that we survived. I think when I’m driving home and it finally hits me that this chapter is truly over and that there is no next year, the tears will come. Until then, I will enjoy my blissful ignorance and revel in the fact that I don’t have to run everyday (and will probably gain my Freshman fifteen early).

So in closing, I just wanna say that I wouldn’t want to have spent my last four falls with any other group of girls. Soccer has brought me my three best friends and my mentors partner. It’s weird to think of all the girls I wouldn’t know if I hadn’t participated in soccer. I know that when I look back at high school, my mind will immediately go back to the nights out on the pitch. I’ll remember Melissa’s obsession with the Princess game, Jocelyn’s antics as an intercultural unicorn, and all the other moments that make me smile as I type this.

Life will continue to progress but soccer will always be a part of me and so will the girls I met along the way.

“Many small people, in many small places, do many small things, that can alter the face of the world.” -Unknown